Monday, November 20, 2006

Reminiscence (screaming from the inside out)

its been a week plus since i came back from my bangkok trip. i've been thinking through alot of things, thoughts have been flying here and there in my mind. i've set apart this wednesday for my gettaway with Him. the trip has left me with a full conviction of living out His plans in my life passionately. been thinking about my own personal walk with Him for the past years. been thinking about my ministry and the direction in my studies. i came back with "yes lord, this is really what i want to do with my life. lord, help me!" indeed, the calling is beyond my human capacity, i definately really need his leading.
at this point, i'm thankful for this person in my life. i was reading one of her emails a moment ago. that email (dated 30 nov 2003) spoke so much of her genuine love and care for her people. i kept that email for so long as a reminder for my own personal walk with God too. i've been together in her team for coming close to six years. she leads a very simple life. i once described in a birthday card to her, "a wanderer for God, living simply for Him..." sometimes, being close and long enough with a person can be too familiar in the friendship. which we called it taking one another for granted and all. yet, the recent bangkok trip showed me a fresh perspective of serving her. as i thought through my plans and directions for near future. countless of times, i thought about how i can serve and support her more in my ministry, with my life. seeing Hope Bangkok examples have left me great impressions of what does it meant by serving and honoring our leaders with our best. its more than just the humble nods or the yes and amen spirit. i believe this is the first step God is bringing me through my renewed vision and passion after the spoken words in the trip. her recent sharings in service further strengthened my conviction. i want to live for a bigger vision, bigger than my own goals and dreams. i want to trust in Him solely, as He never fails us.
listening: What kind of Love is this by Philips Craig and Dean

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